Revision as of 03:28, 28 June 2014

The Book of Wholesome Hobbies That Denise And Mark Have Forbidden Their Staff and Volunteers From Taking Part In

Originates from IRC. (This is ha-ha-only-serious.)

Book of Wholesome Hobbies that are Forbidden

• Getting hit by a bus (essential or non-essential)
• Deleting every single comment that an ex-friend has left in your journal and marking it as spam. (It's the marking it as spam part that's forbidden. Delete to your heart's content.)
• Feeding the trolls.
• Hanging out with that guy who points AK-47s at you.
• Making a large number of completely outlandish suggestions in dw_suggestions for the sole purpose of making the person handling the moderation queue crack up.
• Tossing x-acto knife like it's a pen while bored waiting for things to run http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/258
• Fall over and injure themselves
• Stuff parmesan cheese up their noses
• Turn Random Word hEll into a mutant supervillian (via gamma ray exposure, or any other method)
• Summon Rah like an Elder God: http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/488 and http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/590
• Buying chemical raw materials.
• Playing with chemicals (unless that is part of your Actual Job Description at your Actual Job). http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/516
• Getting gum stuck in your nose hair. http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/6723816.html
• Engaging in knife fights to determine who gets to keep their confusingly similar IRC nick and who must change
• Any sort of knife fight at all
• We probably have a rule about committing while on drugs.
• Doing a burn test on unknown or possibly wool fibers with inadequate ventilation http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/225
• Setting users on fire http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/dw/588
• Attempting to ride a Segway into the library http://misskat.dreamwidth.org/3452087.html
• Throwing things off the hotel balcony
• Buying unwise sparklers
• Spending excessive amounts of money on nail polish
• Stay up past bedtime
  • Especially when "staying up past bedtime" will constitute going against a direct order from The Bossen
• Lick the keyboard (even if it is flavored)
• Leaving the balcony in a downward direction
• Absolutely not allowed to take a personal day to kill or otherwise physically harm people who have annoyed you.
  • Not on company time either
• Lick cacti
• Eat your co-workers for dinner
  • or any other meal
• Setting things (unspecified) on fire
• Taking over any of the organizations on the blacklist, even if they could really use the upgrade in management

Book of Unwholesome Hobbies that are Permitted

• Code tours that make unwary readers spray drinks through their noses.
• Going to the conference without pants
• Having ice cream for breakfast
• Answering Support requests while intoxicated
  • If you're lucky, D will top off your drink for you so you don't have to get up.
    • But approving your own answers while more intoxicated than usual is frowned on.
• Setting voodoo dolls of appropriate accuracy on fire, outside, in approved fire locations, in accordance with state and local regulations, as long as it's not filmed for the internet.